It's Not about you: How being shy is egotistical

I've already briefly mentioned the Bali Eco Lodge we stayed in during our recent holiday, but I didn't tell you about the talk we had with one of the owners, Norm. The three-hour talk quite probably changed my life (only my actions following the talk with prove that or not) but one minor thing he said has affected my outlook greatly.

When he described getting up in front of a room full of people to discuss permaculture, my response was, "I could never do that, I'm shy". Norm simply replied, "It's not about you". He went on to explain how he had to go on national television once and was extremely nervous, he simply remembered no-one was watching to see him, they were only interested in what he had to say and so focused on that.

That's when I realised every time I have said "I'm shy" that's my ego speaking. What's worse is my ego had developed a victimised strategy of dealing with social situations, "it's hard for me because I'm shy" is really just an excuse for getting out of things.

This amazingly simple idea has already allowed me to say yes to a few things I wouldn't have considered before, because of my shyness. For starters I have booked a hair/ makeup/ photography session with a friend of mine so I can have some nice pictures while I have my Bettie Bangs in. 

The idea of that much attention is very uncomfortable for me, but then I remember - even getting my photograph taken is not about me! It's about the moment in time I'm looking to capture with a friend. The same can be said for doing things out of your comfort zone: why not sing that karaoke song? It's not about you, it's about having fun with friends.

Once you take your own ego out of the equation there is nothing to be afraid of! Are you shy? Then just remember, it's NOT about you. There is no I in shy. 

The Bettie Bangs are in!

Well I did it. I finally found someone I trusted enough to cut my Bettie Page fringe in Perth. After what seems like months of searching I found a great salon called Identified Hair in Kensington with an amazing hairdresser who has cut Bettie Bangs before!

I knew I was in safe hands when she had another client (before me) stand up and she cut her fringe free-hand. She did the same to me. I've never had a hairdresser stand me up so she can cut my hair free-hand around me. It was liberating!

Last night after my shower I blow dried my fringe straight down (as directed) and let the rest of my hair air dry. This morning when I got ready for work all I had to do was use my new mini-straighteners to give my fringe a slight curl at the ends and a light spritz of hairspray to keep everything in place.

Here is a quick self portrait I took to show you my first Bettie Bang styling attempt - not bad even if I do say so myself. And without makeup! 

Let’s talk Rockabilly

I love vintage fashion. I have always been drawn to the 50's silhouette of a tiny waist and hour-glass figure, which is NOT my body shape at all. I have an ‘athletic’ figure with wide shoulders and slim hips but that’s what is so amazing about 50's fashion – anyone can pull off this look. It doesn’t matter if you are large or tiny, if you can get into some spanx that allow you to cinch in your waist, you can rock a wiggle dress with the best of them; simple, classic, beautiful.

You’ll see plenty of examples on my Pinterest Style Board like this one. 

Rockabilly fashion is a sub-set of 50’s style that emulates ‘pin-up’ fashion of the era; think Bettie Page or even Marilyn Monroe. Here’s Bettie and Marilyn at work.

 

To me, the 50s look is a striking combination of feminine, sexy and vintage. Just look at Miss K,The Rockabilly Girl Next Door. I love her Bettie Bangs so much I’m going to get some cut in myself. I’ll upload before and after pics next month when I get them done!

Even as a ‘new feminist’ (someone who wants neither career nor family), I love dressing up in the style of the 50’s. Despite the fact it was a time when women were beaten for answering back to their husbands, they knew how to dress femininely and sexily (without being slutty). That’s why when Mad Men came on TV all the major designers brought 50’s silhouettes back, it’s just a classic feminine shape that’s suits most women (not just models).

The rockabilly sub-set takes the fun parts of the pin-up look, but does it fully clothed. You’ll often see bright hair colours, flowers, bows, curls and bandanas; makeup basics include heavy brows, wing-tipped eyeliner and red lips.

What makes a rockabilly look? Think of Rosie the Riveter 

a tough no-nonsense girl who is willing to put on her overalls, tie her pin curls up in a bandana, and get to work making those munitions while the men are off to war. Now she and Bettie Page have a love child. That love child is rockabilly.