Shaken to the core by another's presence: what does it mean?

This morning a man came into my office and asked to use the phone. I work at front desk so was the first person to greet him and asked him a few questions in order to help him find where he was going (he was lost).

We chatted for less than 5 minutes in total and I helped him use the phone and find where he needed to be going. By the time he left I was physically shaking and had to leave front desk and take 5 minutes to calm down. What happened?

I honestly don't know. I have had previous occasions in my life when I have felt overwhelmed by other people's emotions (if someone is very sad I can feel depressed even after they have left my presence, for example) however I always assumed that was natural. This felt very unnatural.

After he left I looked up the address he was headed to and it was to a Psychiatrist's Office, which really just confirmed the strong 'vibe' I received from him. Does anyone know what happened?

I googled 'sensitivity to others energy' which just brought back thousands of pages relating to crystals, chakras and spiritual healing. Not my bag baby. How do I find out what I experienced without losing my practical scientific self? Maybe I can't and it's down to the mysteries of life (cue sitar music), but maybe the wanting to know is just grasping/clinging (from a buddhist perspective) and I should let it go.

Have you experienced anything similar?

This is how it felt

The Challenge of Chit-chat

When things are hard in life; when dealing with issues of grief, loss or other hardship it can seem extremely difficult to keep up the chit-chat. The constant pleasantries that are part of the social contract, such as "how was your weekend?", "nice weather we're having!" etc.

I've recently been avoiding the lunch-room at busy times because I find the idle chatter about normal lives too tedious when I'm grappling with thoughts of old age, sickness and death, in relation to my ailing father.

A scene in a book I read recently called "The Name of the World" by Denis Johnson, describes one character, Tiberius Soames, who is assumed insane because he has given up on small-talk. When addressed by someone at a party he replies, "my mother died and her corpse was eaten by dogs". (I'm paraphrasing as I don't have the book in front of me).

How wonderful to be able to say exactly what you were thinking! And how obvious that this would appear crazy. The character even refers to the amount of chit-chat required as part of the social contract, and how he had better talk some nonsense for a while to make everyone happy.

I definitely recommend the book to anyone, even though it is off-beat! And although I haven't taken Tiberius' lead in talking quite so openly, I have spent more time this week engaging other people in honest conversation. I found that answering questions honestly (although with some editing) allows other people to drop the facade and engage in honest conversation too, if they want too.

Who knows? Maybe we are all walking around wishing we could talk more honestly with each other? I know I'm guilty of asking some of those tedious questions to other people in order to make small-talk.

What do you think?

"I don't want to be an ant, you know?" Waking Life

Using music to alter your mood

I’ve been feeling a bit down lately. It happens to most of us at some point, but with a history of depression I tend to be quite aware when the gloomy thoughts take over. I use “in the moment” meditation techniques to break the cycle of negative thinking (such as “I feel the ground beneath my feet; feel the posture of my body”) because your body is always in the present moment. If you bring your mind to your body then you can break free from the negative monologue in your head.

This is something that needs to be done repetitively and is helpful to re-write the synapses in your brain. If you’ve had depression before then the repetitive negative thinking you experienced creates pathways in your brain that re-fire when you feel depressed. Hence the ‘cycle’ that you can become aware of (see the movie “What The Bleep“ if you want this explained beautifully).

Returning to the now IS helpful but it can also become tiring if you need to do it constantly (if the negative thoughts keep coming). What I’ve discovered, and now use as a secondary technique is upbeat music. Music has a profound effect on my mood; I used to know this subconsciously when I would listen to The Carpenters for hours when I was depressed. There’s nothing like Karen wailing her sad songs to keep you wallowing in depression!

With this awareness I now keep my mp3 in my bag and plug in my head phones whenever I need to. I did this on my way in to work this morning and changed a drab dark mood into an upbeat one, simply by playing tunes that made me smile or made me want to dance. You can’t be depressed when you’re dancing! I did have to sift through my songs so I think I’ll start an upbeat playlist called ‘happy tunes’ for a faster result next time.

Think back to the old songs that already have happy memories associated with them. When you’re in a dark place this won’t be easy but you may hear a great song somewhere and remember how happy it makes you feel, so note it down and add that tune later. ‘Brim full of Asha’ did that for me this morning, I mean, how can the lyrics “Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow, everybody needs a bosom” NOT make you smile?

What music makes you smile or dance?