Lightening the mental load

This morning I started getting stressed; I was mentally listing all the things I wanted to accomplish this weekend: meditate, practice pre-race meals, go for a long run, catchup with friends, go to The Paddock, go food shopping, go clothes shopping, make calls, visit Dad, watch football, clean the house, do laundry etc. etc. 

When I tried to go out at lunch time to get two types of shopping done (as well as eat) I knew I was pushing the boundaries of manicness and decided to stop. I looked at my long to-do list for the weekend and decided to focus on a couple of priorities:

1. Go to The Paddock - it's been three weeks and I need to know if any of the plants are still alive.
2. Catchup with friends - a couple of friends have just moved back to Perth after a couple of years in England. I don't want to cut short our catchup to go shopping or running or anything else.

Everything else can wait. I won't starve to death without more groceries, I don't NEED that new shirt this weekend and if I don't manage to meditate or go running for one week it's not the end of the world.

I'm sure I'll manage to fit in a few more things but by focusing on my priorities I can relax and enjoy the things I do have to do, without worrying about all the things I don't.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Becoming a Runner

In two days I will be attempting to run my first 12 kilometre fun run. I have entered and completed 12km fun runs before, but always as a walker.

About eight months ago one of my best friends asked me to do the Perth City to Surf (another 12km fun run) in a year's time with her. She has had her second child and was looking forward to running again, and it was nice of her to give me a year's notice to practice, as I was NOT a runner.

I've signed up for the fun run this weekend as a practice run before the City to Surf, which is a VERY hilly run. So far I've only managed to jog 12kms once in training, and I was very sore the next day so I expect to be in a bit of pain when I write next on Monday; I'll let you know how it went and what time I finish in.

When I first started training in the gym, I hated running. It was hard. My feet hurt. My back hurt. The only reason I kept running on the treadmill was it became apparent that it was the fastest way for me to burn calories (out of the exercises I was doing).

Over time it became easier and I would enjoy setting myself a distance or speed challenge and beating it. Every time I came off the treadmill I was high as a kite and completely exhausted. Once I could run 5kms I entered the 5km Color Run and was surprised to find how difficult it was doing the same distance outside. Running in the sun and wind (instead of air conditioned comfort) across varying terrains was exhausting and I barely made it across the finish line.

This, and the desire to save myself the gym fees finalised my decision to hand in the gym membership and become a runner. At first I was concerned my thrice-weekly running sessions would give way as winter wore on, but I'm lucky enough to have well-lit bike paths in my neighbourhood so I felt safe running after dark on my own and continued my training.

The only equipment I bought was a GPS watch so I could continue to set myself time and speed challenges as if I were on a treadmill. It cost about $130 and my gym fees had been nearly $50 a month so this was paid back in under 3 months of running.

Now I'm starting to take my training a bit more seriously I read running blogs and have found the No Meat Athlete a great help for nutritional advice for vegetarians. Matt is a runner who went vegan to improve his speed and endurance - a great inspiration!

I have found setting myself little goals keeps the training interesting, as well as adding motivation to get changed and go out running in the dark after a long day at work! How do you motivate yourself and what sports work for you?

Living for the Now vs. Living for the Future

My other-half Mike and I have two different systems for managing life goals and immediate gratification. We both have the same dream: to build a largely self-sufficient permaculture site on our block in the country; we just have different methods for getting us there.

Mike believes the best thing for us to do is to work as hard as we can in full time positions, to pay off our house mortgage in the city. Once this is paid off we intend to keep the house for rental income to subsidise our (lack of) income when we move to The Paddock (our block in the country).

This is a good and sensible plan, which is why this is the action we are currently taking. However, I have an issue with this approach which is what I call ‘living for the future’. By committing to working full time in jobs we don’t love for another decade (which is how long it will take to be able to pay off our mortgage), aren’t we selling-out our ‘now’ for a good slice of ‘maybe’ in the future?

Life doesn’t offer guarantees, so perhaps in a decade Mike or I will be too sick to move to the country or build a house. I have used this “what if?” style of thinking, that I call ‘living for the now’ my entire adult life. If I’m not happy somewhere, I leave. If I’m not happy with myself, I try to be a better person. If I don’t like my job, I look for a better one.

I’ve always thought of myself as proactive person, without too many attachments; I can easily sell all my belongings and move country, I find it liberating. What I really have trouble with is staying put. I’ve discussed my inability to 'finish' in a previous post but I what I didn’t say there is, this has been an ongoing issue repeated throughout my life.

Before Mike, my longest relationship with anyone was two years. I’ve never stayed with any company for more than two years; in fact I’ve had three separate career changes over my lifetime! I’m nearly forty and I still haven’t found a job I’d be happy to do for the next ten years of my life.

My plan for moving to the country would be to do a kind of “MoneylessMan” and move into our tin shed, eke out a living with a few hours work at the local pub while we scrape together enough money to attempt to build a house while still paying off a mortgage. You can see why we’re doing it Mike’s way…. his is the only plan that makes sense.

Maybe that’s why we’ve lasted as a couple for over 11 years; not only do I love him but I think he makes sense. If it had been up to me I would have quite my job, sold my house and moved to the country years ago (of course, I would still be in an unpowered, unwatered and uninsulated tin shed years later). 

Luckily, I have Mike to remind me that sometimes it’s OK to work towards something in the future. That there are no guarantees for your planned future coming to pass, so you make today as good and as happy as possible, WITHOUT throwing away the plans for the future.

 

"Two friends building a house together"

What is your method for balancing future goals and happiness today?

The birth of AnnaKist Ideas

Why AnnaKist ideas?

First, a little bit of history...

For two years I trained with Perth Roller Derby as Fresh Meat. My roller skating skills were pretty much zero when I started out. The last time I had worn a pair of roller skates was when I was about 11 years old (hmmm about 25 years ago).

But it looked like a fun sport to try out, I'm not overly competitive but I do have aggressive tendencies that are helped by physical exercise. A combination of skating AND bashing people about? I would learn to skate to be allowed to do that!

The first year my skating improved immensely but I still dropped out of Fresh Meat as the training sessions ramped up. I don't know why but I would find excuses not to go - work was an easy one because I was a shift worker at the time and trying to fit a scheduled training routine around shift work was harder than I thought.

But other women managed it so I knew it was no excuse really. Then the second year I put my all into the training and it paid off when my skating skills went through the roof, but as the number of training sessions you needed to attend increased, the same thing happened. I dropped out because I couldn't manage the shift work/training regime balance.

When I tried to enroll for Fresh Meat a third time, perhaps unsurprisingly, I found my emails were no longer replied to. I had failed. After a bit of a grieving (my method of grieving usually involves getting angry, then getting depressed, then drinking red wine to excess - bad girl) I realised that the Perth Roller Derby team needed people with a LOT more grit and determination than I was bringing to the table.

They are trying to grow a sport of dedicated team players who are going to give their utmost to play and improve the sport. I was just not that into it all. I loved the skating, loved the dressing up, loved the other crazy people there but I wasn't willing to hand over hours of my own time to improve the sporting league.

So what did I get out of it all? HEAPS! I realised that to be a roller derby girl you have to be hard-core committed. Kudos to all of you who made it! And personally, I discovered that I put a lot more value on my time with Mike and the dogs than I'd previously known.

Mike is my other half, we've been together over 11 years (and counting) and we have two amazing dogs. One of the reasons I tried to join a roller derby league is because I was actively looking for new friends who don't have children. Mike and I are not planning to have children, and all our friends are in the 2 or 3 baby range (bar a handful), and it gets harder and harder to catch up with friends regularly, or even chat on the phone with your friends as they're juggling multiple children at the same time.

So although I didn't make it into the league, roller derby increased my confidence to talk to new people. Wow it can be hard making new friends as an adult! But I have made one really good friend since that experience and it was all worth it just for her. xx

And lastly, I discovered my alter ego Anna Kist! 

Anna Kist was my roller derby name and I only came up with it during my second year of fresh meat after listening to The Sex Pistols... "I am an Anarchist!" and the light bulb went on over my head. I AM an anarchist. Anna Kist became my roller derby name then and there, and my alter ego in 'real' life too.

Tomorrow I'll continue on with some more anarchist ideas. Please drop in and leave your thoughts too! xx