Seeking help and monthly challenge update

It's been a while since my last post, not only because I've been struggling with a bout of depression but I've also come down with the flu. I think my body has simply collapsed under the strain of worrying about my family, working full time, having relationship issues and generally just trying to cope on a day-to-day, minute-to-minute basis.

Mike has convinced me to sign up for counselling with a carers organisation, which I can do via email rather than face to face. Its such a relief to be able to access that kind of service that way, as there is simply no time I could take out of my week to visit a counsellor, without work having to know (which is not something I'm ready to face as yet). So hopefully communicating with someone external to our situation, with experience caring for someone, will be able to help relieve the emotional burden I'm feeling.

Our trip to Germany is also coming up soon, we fly out in just over two weeks and all the arrangements are made. We want to continue with our monthly challenge up to and around our trip, while we'll have the three weeks we are away as a holiday without any challenge attached. So we only have two weeks to implement this 'months' challenge, so we thought we'd pick a tough one. As a lead up to trying to go vegan, we have decided to go dairy-free for the first two weeks of June.

I already drink soy milk in my coffee and rice milk in my smoothies (I'm lactose intolerant), but Mike is dreading having a soy coffee so will probably go back to drinking black coffee instead. The toughest part of this challenge will be for both of us to go without cheese and chocolate. We have cheese in most dinners and often have a few pieces of chocolate for dessert.

We found a deli not far away that sells raw vegan chocolate and it is the tastiest chocolate I have EVER eaten (no exaggeration), however it costs about $10 for a tiny tiny bar, so we are going to try to make our own raw vegan chocolate. I'll let you know how that goes.

Our monthly challenge for May was to quit smoking again which I managed after the first few days but Mike has struggled with this more - he still doesn't really want to quit, so without the motivation it just isn't possible, however he has cut down enormously.

I'll send an update prior to our trip to let you know how the raw vegan chocolate and dairy-free experience is going.

Auf Wiedersehen

100-Up Exercises: The Path to Better Running Form!

I have previously blogged about 100-Up Exercises, and have now completed the 30 day challenge. I must admit that I did not manage to do the exercises every day; on average I did the exercises five times each week. The simple exercises are designed to improve your running form, so if you can't do 100 of the exercises in a row, you just stop when you can't keep good form.

Usually I stopped at between 60 and 80 exercises as my legs started to shake, or the hip burn became too much, however for the last week I managed 100 each time (except one day when I had a sore stomach and stopped at 40).

To lay a benchmark running time I went out for a 2.6km run in early April and ran at 6:39min/km. Toward the end of the run I was feeling twinges of strain in both knees and one ankle. I often had to ice my knees after runs longer than 5kms.

During the 30 day 100-Up challenge I have been running about 5kms per week on a treadmill, however a few days ago I went out and ran a 5km Park Run as well as running another 5kms home. Not only did I run a personal best Park Run time of 00:30:16 (making my speed 6:03min/km) but my run home (when I was already tired) was at 6:13min/km - faster than my original short run time a month ago.

I believe that the exercises have made me faster AND I have had no twinges of pain ANYWHERE. No pain in my knees, shins, ankles or shoulders, ALL of which were common before. Even though the challenge is over I am definitely continuing to do the 100-Up exercises each morning as they have proven to be effective in making me faster and (more importantly) injury-free.

Now that I am getting faster at the exercises in good form I intend to advance to the 100-Up Major exercises too. Since I can only offer anecdotal evidence that these exercises work I would encourage any sports medicine student to trial this in a more serious manner, including video footage of running form prior and post the challenge.

Swing Dance April

Our monthly challenge for April was to learn to Swing Dance, so we enrolled in a beginner's workshop and learnt the basic steps of the Lindy Hop, Charleston and Jive. What fun!

Mike is generally not the active type so it took some convincing for him to join me, especially on the three-hour beginner's workshop; however without the beginners class he would not be able to join in the weekly classes, so eventually he capitulated.

It was a warm day and after about fifteen minutes most of us were sweating freely, and by the end of the three hours there wasn't a dry shirt in the house! Our teachers were very patient and kind and invited us to join them at Hullabaloo (a five-day swing dancing event) the following week.

Instead of just going out to dance we decided to make a date night out of it and had dinner and cocktails before going out for a swing! The dancefloor was very crowded so we knocked into a few people and stepped on a few toes, but when we got our moves down and our turns right, we felt like 1950's superstars.

We'll continue the Friday night classes through May so we are a bit more comfortable doing some swing dancing at Mike's brother's wedding in June.

So for me April wasn't much of a 'challenge', it was fun, however Mike certainly stepped out of his comfort zone. This month we are focusing on smoking. We are both ex-smokers who still bum cigarettes when drinking and lately Mike even bought some baccy and the smoking was creeping back into our lives. It's time to nip that in the bud before we get hooked again, so May's monthly challenge is no cigarettes, at all, no excuses. Wish us luck!

100-Up Exercise to Improve Running Form: Half-way point reflection

I have previously blogged about the 100-Up Challenge which requires you to do the 100-Up exercise for 30 days in a row, in order to improve running form. The exercise is very simple however you quickly feel the burn in your hips and I have only made it to 100 leg lifts once in the fifteen days I have tried.

Since developing better running form is the point of the exercise, it is important to stop when the leg lifts are not perfect, rather than push through to 100 just for the sake of it.

I went for a 5km run last week and although I didn't record my speed I definitely felt more relaxed while running; I realised that I usually lift my shoulders and keep tension in my back. However when practicing 100-Up you move so slowly, and just pull your elbow back while lifting your knee (instead of pumping arms forward), so I really noticed that my neck/back/shoulders and arms ALL felt more relaxed during my run (and I think my time was pretty good too). Using and tiring fewer muscles during each run will definitely help with stamina over time.

So although I still have another fifteen days to practice the exercise I feel like it has helped my running form already, and once I regularly achieve the 100-Up minor exercises I will change this to the 100-Up major exercises (a faster more dynamic workout) and see how this affects my form and timing also.

An experiment to improve running form

Yesterday I stumbled across the 100-Up Challenge, based on the 100-Up exercise created by W.G.George (pictured below). The exercise is very simple and the challenge requires you to do the exercise for 30 days in a row, in order to improve your running form.

This morning I went out for a short run: 2.6km at 6:39min/km. It has been a few weeks since I have been regularly running so I thought this would make a good benchmark run prior to starting the 100-up challenge.

Towards the end of the run I felt some twinges in both knees and at the inside of my left ankle; nothing too painful though. Then at home I practised the 100-up minor exercise as shown in this video; I stood in front of a full length mirror to ensure I was lifting my knees up to hip height (proper form is key). After 50 leg lifts I could really feel the muscles in the outside of my hips burning (the IT band, I believe), so I stopped, as I could not keep the form perfect.

I'll endeavour to do the 100-Up Minor leg lifts every day for 30 days and then will do another run to compare against these original results.

Fasting one day a week: reflection

I must admit, I thought this challenge would be a lot easier! March's monthly challenge was to fast for one day each week (we chose Sunday) and there was only one day we truly succeeded.

On each other occasion we decided that we needed one warm meal a day, why was this?

Years ago I tried eating raw food only for a month, and was equally unsuccessful. At the time my colleague suggested that I was addicted to hot food, because the lack of a warm meal had a direct impact on my mental health. I became depressed; first mentally, then physically as well.

After a few days of eating only raw food for breakfast and lunch I would go home to a cold house (it was winter) and eat a cold salad. And then cry (literally). Perhaps my physical needs were being met by the meal but my emotional needs were not, and it looks like not a lot has changed.

I honestly wonder whether this is something that I need to be concerned about though - is this 'addiction' something I actually need to break? So I'm a happier person if I eat one warm meal a day. OK, I can live with that. I'm lucky enough to live in a place where hot meals are readily affordable and available so I'm chalking it up to having learnt more about myself.

There is a big part of me that feels I should push myself out of my comfort zones. Somehow knowing that the lack of a warm meal makes me uncomfortable, means that a part of me wants to push in that direction, to face the discomfort. Why is that?

In the past I learnt rock climbing, went bungee jumping (twice) and jumped out of a plane because I was uncomfortable with heights. Guess what? I'm still afraid of heights (probably worse than I was originally) but I've made some amazing memories along the way.

Maybe that drive to push myself out of my comfort zone is really just another way to take control (of the fear); perhaps it is just another form of samsara. Instead of avoiding discomfort I push myself into it as a way to control it. Neither avoiding nor hurtling towards discomfort allows you to experience it and let it go.

So with that in mind, I have learnt that fasting for a whole day isn't for me (at this point in time, but could be revisited again in the future). I currently have a smoothie for breakfast and a salad for lunch most days, so a warm meal at night is a comfort I'm willing to hang on to. 

To feel a place of warmth with my partner and my dogs; knowing THAT warmth is fleeting (as all is impermanent) brings a state of awareness to the simple beauty of a warm meal with loved ones. And I thank the fast for that new awareness of what I always had.

A Fasting Fiasco?

When Mike and I decided to fast for one-day a week in March we assumed it would be easiest monthly challenge yet, however the opposite has turned out to be true! So far we have attempted to fast for the last three Sundays in a row, and we still have next Sunday to go, in order to complete the challenge.

The first Sunday went well, however since then we have not been 100% well. The second Sunday was right after my dad had returned home from hospital and I was completely emotionally fatigued; from both daily hospital visits and the difficulties that arose around his return home (cue second family crisis in the same week).

So I must admit I was pretty half-hearted about the fasting by Sunday. I had been fine preparing more juices for breakfast and lunch hunger pangs, but by dinner time the emotional NEED for a hot meal was nearly overwhelming. I definitely would have broken down in tears if I hadn't been able to eat dinner. So Mike and I opted for a light healthy dinner of steamed rice and vegies, with a little home-made satay sauce for taste. Simple and absolutely delicious.

Yesterday was the third Sunday of the month and again we failed in our attempt to fast for the day, this time because Mike is sick with the flu. He had been coughing, sneezing and sweating profusely with fever since Saturday afternoon so we agreed it might not be the best time to tax his system with a fast.

We still did our best and had juice and water for most of the day (he didn't have much of an appetite anyway) but by late afternoon he was hungry so I made us the comfort-food my mum always made me when I was sick, "boiled eggs and soldiers". If I had better will power I would have just made some for Mike and not myself, but I'm not that strong.

So next Sunday is our last chance to do the full 24-hour fast and attempt to find any physical, mental or emotional benefit. I'll report back once the month is finished!

Home-made juices

The first fast and facing crises with awareness

Last Sunday Mike and I completed our first weekly fast (one day of the week without eating solids) which went well. There were two times during the day when I definitely felt ravenous - after lunch and after dinner time. At these times I drank some vegetable juice which I had prepared in the morning, that way when I was hungry (and grumpy) then I didn't have to think about the effort involved in juicing, the hard work (and cleaning) was already done.

Luckily I didn't feel too hungry when I went to bed either, certainly not to the point that it kept me awake. A dose of beetroot and celery juice filled me up enough to stave off any hunger pains; Mike preferred the apple and carrot juice combination instead.

I can't report that I noticed any great change (in health) that day or the next, however I was largely distracted by my father going to hospital late Sunday night with a fever, so I wasn't focused on the fast at that point.

On a separate subject, lately I have been overwhelmed by distressing stories: in books, movies and on the news. Having recently finished reading a very disturbing book called Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis (author of American Psycho, to give you some idea of the book's contents) and then watching movies such as Enter the Void and Oldboy as well as the always-depressing news, I was completely fed up with unpleasant stories.

There ARE good people in the world doing good things and I honestly believe there aren't enough stories being told about THEM. So with that in mind, on Sunday night Mike and I sat down to watch one of my favourite movies: Peaceful Warrior which is about facing adversity with awareness and being the best you can be. A truly inspiring movie based on an even more inspiring book (based on a true story).

Part way through the movie I had to hit 'pause' to take the call that my dad was in an ambulance on his way to hospital. After some discussion around what needed to be done immediately by the family (nothing by me that night, my duties started the next morning), I was able to finish watching the movie with a new level of awareness of the moment. My own crisis aided my attention to the moment and I was able to handle everything without being overwhelmed by the emotions I was feeling. I simply watched them rise and fall away in a wave-like pattern.

To paraphrase a line from the movie, "This is a scary time in your life, are you Paying Attention to it?" Well I was able to pay attention and the results of that experiment were far more enlightening than not eating food for a day.

Mike and I will fast again this Sunday (and each Sunday for the rest of March) to really give the fasting a proper try, so I will report back on any new findings. 

And if you are also fed up with all the torture-themed gore-fests labelled as entertainment out there. What stories (books/movies etc.) do you recommend for revulsion fatigue?

March's Challenge: Fasting once a week

Mike and I have talked about fasting before so we have decided to incorporate it into one of our monthly challenges. I looked into a variety of options: 24 hour fasting, leangains and other shorter/regular fasting but since so many of them aim at weight loss I suggested to Mike we try to 24 hour fast once a week, and he agreed.

So from this Sunday, for each Sunday through the month of March we will not be eating any solids during the day or night. Since we are aiming at a health-cleanse rather than on losing weight we are allowing ourselves fruit/vegetable juice to ease any cravings, so I'm hoping it won't be too hard!

I do tend to have low blood-sugar so it won't surprise me if a get a bit grumpy, but the juice should help with that. I've planned to have a no-exercise day so we should be able to take it nice and easy too. If I do feel any negative side effects I'm hoping to be able to meditate on them to help me mentally.

I'll let you know how we go. Does anyone else fast for better health? What works for you?

February's Habit: Reading for an hour - reflection

Our monthly habit-changing list is now two months complete:

• January - no alcohol - way easier than anticipated!
• February - read for an hour each day (that should be easy, shouldn't it?)...

Soon after starting this challenge we introduced a proviso: read for an hour each day quickly turned into "... each weekday" as neither of us wanted to prioritise the time for reading during our weekends. We discovered that to each of us, weekend time was more precious than reading time, so we couldn't make ourselves sit down and read (not that we tried very hard).

So after that immediate scale-back we then piously turned off the TV at 8.30pm each night, in order to give us time for an hour of reading before bed. This was a habit I quickly came to enjoy, but Mike found that an hour of reading at night was too long for him (especially from no reading at all). Mike had to start with about 20 minutes of reading before increasing this length of time over the month.

I don't think Mike ever made it to reading for a whole hour but I've come to realise that isn't the point. The "hour" was arbitrary, it was the taking the time out of our day to read, to prioritise it as something important that was REALLY the purpose of the challenge, and that is something we succeeded in doing.

The real surprise that came out of this challenge was the large effect on the amount of TV we watched over the month. We expected to watch about an hour less television (while we read instead), however the habit of turning off the TV to read, lead us to turn off the TV at other times too!

When we wanted to talk, we would turn the TV off. When we were in the kitchen together, we would turn the TV off; instead of the television being on as background noise we found we would turn it ON to watch a program (usually during dinner), then turn it off again as it was time to read. Although I didn't specifically measure it, I would estimate our TV viewing time was reduced from about 3 hours per night to 1 hour per night (on average).

This was certainly an added bonus to the challenge and we have agreed to continue with reading-time before bed from now on, although the 1-hour time specificity has been dropped.

January: success! February, let's get started!

You may recall that, inspired by Leo Babauta, Mike and I are doing "one habit changing practice each month", which started with no alcohol for the month of January. For complete honesty, we did not start this challenge until January 4th, however we completed the month PLUS some. 

So to round-up January before moving onto Feb's challenge, drinking no alcohol for the month has gone remarkably well! In fact, I still haven't had an alcoholic drink since I started this challenge.

There was only one day where I felt like having a 'drink' after work so I went and bought myself a bottle of ginger beer (non-alcoholic) as a treat, which was so lovely I didn't have the urge for alcohol after that. One of my friends also tried to push me into breaking the challenge because she wanted a drink and didn't want to drink alone (she did not prevail). 

I definitely think that the challenge went so well because we had mentally prepared ourselves and had been drinking less and less before January anyway. The obstacles I had foreseen were:
1. Friday afternoon drinks at work
2. Pressure from friends and family to drink during certain occasions

I prepared for Friday afternoons at work by putting a reminder in my calendar for each lunch time Friday; this reminded me to go and get something nice to drink for after works 'drinks'. That way I had something nice to look forward to drinking (such as coconut water, lemon lime and bitters) instead of just having water as my only option.

Friends and family were managed in a similar manner - the best way to prepare family and friends that you aren't drinking with them, is to give them advance notice and a reason. As expected, everyone I spoke to took this well (even my mum who was also forced to drink alone on Australia Day!) apart from the one friend mentioned above.

So what's our plan for February? Reading one hour per day. This one sounds easy but we have already missed the opportunity to do this both on February 1st and 2nd, so not the greatest start. However now it is Monday and we will start this habit afresh this evening. I'll let you know how we go!

It's going to be a dry January, in more ways than one

I was not planning on making any new year's resolutions this year, however when I read Leo Babauta's post on making 1 habit-forming change a month I leaped at the chance to fully focus on one 'resolution' at a time.

For me, it was obvious what January's focus needed to be: alcohol. For the last year I have been physically unable to drink very much; after a few glasses of any alcohol I feel sick, if I keep drinking then I vomit (with little notice - very embarrassing!)

You would think this would stop me from drinking anyway, however the social pressure I felt meant I continued to drink each Friday after work and every time I went out with friends. I had learnt to cut down my drinking, but not cut it out.

So for the month of January 2014 I have decided not to drink any alcohol at all (for full transparency this actually started on January 4th). Bizarrely I'm actually looking forward to Friday 'drinks' at work this week, as I've prepared to bring a soft drink and still stay as long as usual socialising.

For me, alcohol has often been used as a social 'lubricant'; because I'm shy I thought I needed a drink to be funny/outgoing etc. however the honest truth is I just become loud and boorish after a few drinks - not quite as funny or entertaining as I hoped.

Last year's discovery that being shy is just an excuse to stay in my comfort zone helped me to realise that I was using alcohol as a social crutch, and it was one I no longer needed. 

The one thing I immediately missed was a cold drink on ice (it's the middle of summer here), and water just didn't cut it. So Mike and I played around with a variety of fruit juices and soda water to create different mocktails and I think we've found the perfect recipe:

• 1 quarter pineapple juice
• 1 quarter apple juice (with a hint of passionfruit)
• half soda water

Yum! It's amazingly fresh and tasty. Good bye booze! Hello sobriety. I'll let you know how I go.