Fasting one day a week: reflection

I must admit, I thought this challenge would be a lot easier! March's monthly challenge was to fast for one day each week (we chose Sunday) and there was only one day we truly succeeded.

On each other occasion we decided that we needed one warm meal a day, why was this?

Years ago I tried eating raw food only for a month, and was equally unsuccessful. At the time my colleague suggested that I was addicted to hot food, because the lack of a warm meal had a direct impact on my mental health. I became depressed; first mentally, then physically as well.

After a few days of eating only raw food for breakfast and lunch I would go home to a cold house (it was winter) and eat a cold salad. And then cry (literally). Perhaps my physical needs were being met by the meal but my emotional needs were not, and it looks like not a lot has changed.

I honestly wonder whether this is something that I need to be concerned about though - is this 'addiction' something I actually need to break? So I'm a happier person if I eat one warm meal a day. OK, I can live with that. I'm lucky enough to live in a place where hot meals are readily affordable and available so I'm chalking it up to having learnt more about myself.

There is a big part of me that feels I should push myself out of my comfort zones. Somehow knowing that the lack of a warm meal makes me uncomfortable, means that a part of me wants to push in that direction, to face the discomfort. Why is that?

In the past I learnt rock climbing, went bungee jumping (twice) and jumped out of a plane because I was uncomfortable with heights. Guess what? I'm still afraid of heights (probably worse than I was originally) but I've made some amazing memories along the way.

Maybe that drive to push myself out of my comfort zone is really just another way to take control (of the fear); perhaps it is just another form of samsara. Instead of avoiding discomfort I push myself into it as a way to control it. Neither avoiding nor hurtling towards discomfort allows you to experience it and let it go.

So with that in mind, I have learnt that fasting for a whole day isn't for me (at this point in time, but could be revisited again in the future). I currently have a smoothie for breakfast and a salad for lunch most days, so a warm meal at night is a comfort I'm willing to hang on to. 

To feel a place of warmth with my partner and my dogs; knowing THAT warmth is fleeting (as all is impermanent) brings a state of awareness to the simple beauty of a warm meal with loved ones. And I thank the fast for that new awareness of what I always had.

Is your Journey Right for You?

I felt hit by a thunderbolt while listening to the No Meat Athlete podcast with Nicole Antoinette yesterday; what she said wasn't new, however the WAY she said it drove home a point I needed to hear.

So, what was it all about? To paraphrase, her point is to enjoy the journey, not just the destination, however what opened my eyes was the way she described your happiness on the journey being KEY to whether the destination is even right for you.

Working towards any goal requires effort, and you may attribute a feeling to an achievement, such as, when I get a new job I'll be happy. Or, when I meet my soul mate I'll be happy. But what Nicole points out is, unless the journey to your goal makes you happy, then the destination definitely won't! At best you'll feel happy for a while before discontent creeps in again and at worst you'll have wasted all that effort for a goal that was never really 'you'.

Personally, it makes me question whether MY big goal is right for me. Mike and I have bought the property in Woodanilling, with the plan of building a permaculture site and tourist accommodation. We had originally based this on a 10 year plan but initial contact with the Council and other government departments helped us realise there was a LOT more bureaucracy involved and it would more likely be a 15-20 year plan in practise.

This is because we had planned to owner-build all the accommodations however it is not legal to owner-build tourist accommodation in Western Australia (only your own accommodation). To start out cheaply we had also looked into buying a shipping container and making this into our first accommodation, then renting this out in the future and building our own home, however the Council does not even want shipping containers placed on properties in the area, let alone have them fitted out and rented as accommodation.

Basically we have realised our plans entail about 15-20 years of fighting with the Council and getting the local population on side. Yes, the result may be amazing however that process does NOT make me happy.

I am currently completing Nicole's Worksheets in her free ebook "Stop Making Excuses and Start Running" which is applicable to any procrastinator out there (not just runners); I expect answering her cut-to-the-point questions will help me figure out what journey is for me.

Is your journey right for you? 

Be present this Christmas

I haven't blogged recently because I've been really down of late. The calm I brought back from Bali has definitely left and the only saving grace is my Christmas holidays start at 4pm today.

It is tough being an emotional species, all around me are people who are excited, stressed or depressed and Christmas seems to be a catalyst for emotional extremes: the highest highs and the lowest lows.

This year I'll be having Christmas at my parents house, for what will most likely be my dad's last Christmas. His myeloma seems to be progressing faster than originally expected so the pressure is on to make this a 'happy family' Christmas for everyone to remember, and there is nothing like emotional pressure to add to the festive season!

This week I have also forcibly changed my sleeping pattern from late-to-bed-late-to-rise to an early-to-bed-early-to-rise pattern by going to bed an hour earlier than usual and getting up nearly two hours earlier in the morning. The reason I'm doing this is our summer has already started with a heat-wave and I've found it WAY too hot in the evenings after work to go running. 

Now I'm awake at 5am and have an hour and a half of cool air to exercise in before the temperature starts to soar (that's the plan anyway, so far I have only managed to walk my dogs that early). But I've only had about 5 hours sleep each night as it takes me hours to fall asleep when I go to bed earlier, until the exhaustion kicks in that is. Last night was the first night I fell asleep within an hour so at least my body is figuring out what I'm doing. 

So with the end of the year in sight it's a natural time to reflect on the year that has past and look forward to the next year coming. Having said that, after a little reflection I need to bring myself back to the now, lest I lose myself in fantasies and nightmares. The calm that returns when I'm consciously in the present is fleeting, but with practice will become less so.

That is my plan for Christmas, to be present, as much as possible.

Have a Happy Christmas everyone.

Feeling blue? Pat your pet!

"The late Dr. Johannes Odendaal, research professor of the Life Sciences Research Institute in Pretoria, South Africa, conducted a study with dogs and humans in 2003 that indicated petting a dog released endorphins as well as other "feel good" chemicals in the brain, including dopamine, oxytocin, prolactin, and norepinehrine. Dr. Odendaal also said that the same physiological effects would result from petting a cat." http://pets.thenest.com/petting-cat-release-endorphins-10269.html

Further research has also shown that these chemicals are also released in the animal's brain, creating a calming cycle between the pet and the petter (that's you). I'm sure many animals WERE harmed in the research that brought us that little factoid, however, knowing that your dog or cat is also happy you're petting them makes petting them all the better. Better petting? Yes.

My dogs make me a happier healthier person in so many ways. When I get home they are thrilled to see me and always do their best to impress me with their good behaviour so that I acknowledge them (thanks for that tip Cesar Milan!)

Even though I'm tired and it's cold outside I need to get my dogs out for exercise so I rug up and go running around the park like a loon, after which I'm warmed up, happy and relaxed. What a great way to start every evening!

And now I know that a pet from me makes them as happy as it does me, it's just more reason to pet them. Cesar also taught me the importance of WHEN to pet your dog: exercise, discipline and affection - in that order, make for a well behaved, happy dog and owner.

My dogs, Winstan & Jess

Creating lasting positive change

My partner Mike was watching a TED talk last night when I got home from my evening run. The talk was entitled ‘The happy secret to better work’ byShawn Achor and from what I gather the talk was about flipping the idea of success = happiness on its head, by working towards happiness, which in turn will bring success.

Mike was most struck by the list given at the end of the talk for creating lasting positive change.

The first check on the list for three daily gratitudes is a little trick I learnt years ago for finding contentment in the now. This idea has copped a bit of backlash recently, which is common after a technique becomes a fad; books like The Gratitude Book just look so cheesy I’ll never find out if they have anything good to say. 

Years ago I went out on a limb and listened to the audiobook of ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne, and now whenever I hear the phrase ‘the law of attraction’ the hairs on the back of neck stand on end, my pupils dilate and I look for the nearest exit to flee through.

It’s not that I’m not open to the concepts of the book; I happen to believe we do all subconsciously create the universe we live in and our thoughts CAN effect our world. I just hope that if we chose to use the power of our minds we’d do more than look for a Rolex or sports car.

So despite all the bollocks out there regarding gratitude, thinking of things that are positive instead of negative will obviously have a positive effect on your outlook.

Next on the list was journaling, and I’m sad to say having missed the talk myself I’m not sure why Shawn Achor included this one. I’ve recently started this blog as a form of journaling after being inspired by Leo Babauta of ZenHabits to write every day. I enjoy it mostly because it scares me; as a shy person putting my thoughts ‘out there’ like this is quite terrifying, and doing things that scare you definitely makes you feel alive.

Next on the list was exercise, and since I had just come in from a run I think you know I’m doing that one pretty regularly. I’m nearly half-way through my 60 kays in 30 days challenge and am just about on track. The science behind exercise releasing endorphins is well known and exercise also helps keep you fit and healthy, both of which aid in better mental health.

This leads onto the fourth point: meditation. Running is a form of meditation in action (as is a lot of repetitive exercise) and is also something that can be practiced anywhere at any time. Bringing your focus to the now, ‘mindfulness’ of the moment is meditation in action so you don’t need to sit down and formally meditate every day to reap the rewards of a calmer mind.

The last point is Random Acts of Kindness – oh no, here’s a gaping hole in my happiness checklist! Although I try to be kind to the people I work with everyday, random acts of kindness to strangers isn’t something I practice, or even think about. I think I’m having a good morning if I haven’t punched a random stranger in the face on the train in the mornings; I’m getting used to the crush but if someone coughs in my face my urge to kill starts rising.

Random acts of kindness to strangers is another thing that terrifies my mildly, why? People are odd and interacting with strangers is always fraught with the possibility of them latching onto you and wanting a weird conversation. Not the end of the world I know, so perhaps I’ll have to give this one a try.

Have you done any random acts of kindness? Who to? How did it go? What do you think are the positive effects?