First 12km Fun Run: Results and Reaction

Yesterday I completed the HBF Run for a Reason 12 kilometre course, and I managed to run jog the entire way. I am so proud of myself!

Considering just over 6 months ago I couldn't run at all I feel a huge sense of accomplishment having completed this distance, even though today I am hobbling like a chicken with two broken legs...

The official race results will be published tomorrow, but according to my watch I finished the race in 1 hour and 16 minutes: 5 minutes less than my previous 12kms during training.

At the start line there were rows and rows of portaloos that had been brought into the city centre, and about 400 people queued up to use them! It was cold and about twenty minutes before the race I decided I needed to pee. There was no way I was going to make it through the queue and back to the start in time so I held on.

There were four areas of portaloos along the race course but a queue at every one of them... so I ended up running the entire 12kms needing to pee! It was good motivation to keep running and get there as fast as I could. Perhaps this did affect my running form which went out the window about 5 minutes into the race.

I'm sure this is why my knee is so sore today; it started hurting after the first kilometre or so. Despite a sore knee and a heavy bladder I kept on going, I never really doubted I would make it, which for me is a very positive improvement in mindset.

Having experienced depression in my life, I'm very aware of the critical voices in my head which are regularly mumbling in the background - I think we all have them. However with regular practice in meditation and mindfulness I am now able to notice when these voices arise, stop the train of thought (by focusing on the present: "feet on the floor, breath in the nostrils" etc.) which helps stop the cycle of depression beginning. This kind of mindfulness is a very powerful tool against depression.

What is new, what I'm not used to, is hearing a positive silence; a lack of internal critical voices. I didn't really experience this until I started running long enough to zone-out. Meditation in action. I don't need to focus on my breathing, or on my feet hitting the pavement, I just stop thinking altogether and start experiencing life.

This is how I felt during moments of the run but overall I just KNEW I would make it, no matter what. Have you experienced a rise in self-confidence? What helped you?

To finish or not to finish

I am not a great finisher. I’m a great starter, I can make lists and plans and phone calls. I can sign up and buy the equipment and make a commitment… but then somewhere along the line, motivation fades, I stop doing or attending, and then my new favourite fad becomes another in a LONG list of ‘unfinished‘.

Take roller derby for example. I’ve already explained in a previous post how my gusto and (two years of) training in fresh meat turned into a big nothing when I lost motivation and found excuses not to attend the training.

Over the years I’ve done many photography courses and spent a small fortune on equipment but now my camera and lenses sit in my cupboard unused and unloved. Over a decade ago I became an avid rock climber and still have my shoes, harness and chalk bag tucked away in the same cupboard; if I put my roller derby gear in that cupboard you would see a graveyard of all my attempted hobbies.

I’ve always defended my willingness to try new things as a ‘lust for life’ and not worried too much when I haven’t continued them on after the initial shine wears off. But as I’m growing older I’m starting to wonder if this eternal wandering to the next thing is a character flaw; an inability to finish.

That was why I was so gutted when I didn’t finish the roller derby training. I’d promised myself, THIS time, I was going to do everything it took to see it through, and I failed. In hindsight, had I known the time commitment I was going to have to make, I might have reconsidered taking up the sport. However, that drive to complete something I set out to do is still strong.

Today, I thought, “I don’t need to blog today; I know I set out to write every weekday to create a new habit (thanks ZenHabits), but I already missed one day when the server went down so if I miss another day, who will care?” But I only made the commitment to do this just over a week ago! I can’t give up already?!

So this is good practice for me to keep doing what I said I would do. With no ‘finish’ date to aspire to I’m not sure how I can succeed at this task, other than to just write. Every weekday.

Are you a good finisher? What methods do you use to keep yourself on track?