For those of you too young to remember Peaches by The Presidents of the United States of America, that's a musical reference from way back (1996) and is related to a conversation with my lovely man Mike that I had over the weekend.
We went back to The Paddock to water the 200 plants we put in 3 weeks ago (for details you can read my permaculture blog here), which was good and bad. Bad because it's a three-hour drive each way so we spent half of our weekend driving there and back just for it to rain all Saturday night and Sunday (i.e. wasted trip - we only went there to water!), but it was equally good and definitely worth the trip because
a) it's always good to get out of the city, it's way more relaxing in the country
b) it gave Mike and I a chance to chat properly without the distraction of TV, phones or other noise.
I'd been needing to have a proper talk with Mike for quite a while but just wasn't making it happen. He's been stressed at work, and I've been feeling down so we were just in a place where we were snapping at each other and not communicating well. The quiet (and cold!) at The Paddock gave us the peace we needed and we talked openly about a variety of topics in front of the fire.
I explained I've felt a rising melancholy that he has a job he loves and fulfills him (which I don't) and that although I signed up to work full time until we could live at The Paddock in comfort, I just don't feel like I'm being true to myself to do something a don't love for a decade, just to pay the bills so I can do something I love later.
Unfortunately I'm not one of those people who figured out what they want to do with their lives at a young age (or at any age - I'm 37 and I still have no idea what job would make me happy). I came very close when I worked at the kennels, because I love dogs with a passion, but the kennel also housed a pound and there was an immense amount of sadness attached to that little place. But I digress.
Just to show how completely amazing Mike is, he heard me out then suggested we work towards a much closer timeline. Why don't we work towards getting it comfortable enough for me part-time, instead of both of us full-time. Then I can look at spending a few days in Perth and a few days in the country each week (with a day ferrying to and fro - most likely on the bus).
The fact that Mike was even open-minded enough to consider this sort of setup, let alone clever enough to think of it just astounds me. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
So now I'm calm again, with a slightly altered direction. Nothing needs to change in the short term but in two years I'll be looking at installing a toilet/shower block which would make the shed habitable. By then we will have completed the insulation to keep the temperature more comfortable and we will have a generator or similar power source for electronics.
Then I'll just need a part-time job either here or there for an income source and I'll be ready. Mike admits he would only be ready to move to the country once it's as comfortable as our house in the city, because he expects to need to keep working for the long-term. And why not? He loves what he does, why should he give it up to live in a freezing shed and be broke? But there is a middle path; Mike helped me find it and we'll walk it together.